Lil-David Funny Status Messages

   I need a hug and a beer, this climate stuff is stressing me!

   I think I'm going to save my good stuff for the after hours crowd, it's Getting Hot In Here!

   Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing!

   My bartender can beat up your psychiatrist, now pop a pill while I have a drink!

   No you may not "Axe" me a question... I don't speak Walmart!

   With everyone off work on this first day of the New Year good reason to stay in bed and enjoy your New Years Hump Day!

   I need to make some new Haters, the old ones are starting to like me!

   US and Chinese warships play game of chicken, Kim Jong said " hey you two.... Uncle!

   People with really bad attitudes should move to Colorado and Be Happy And Worry!

   My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!

   Iran sends monkey into space, the UN needs to check that, they might be building a zoo up there!

   May the sweat of a billion camels invade your crouch and armpits and the smell of a million skunks invade your breath!

   New Years Day I will be 100, so New Years Eve I'm going to party like I'm 19 @ 99!