Jimmie Watkins Funny Status Messages

   My wife is leaving me because she says I always make stupid comparisons. I feel like a balloon in a glove box..

   It didn't look that hot from inside, but as soon as I stepped outside, it was like Satan farted in my face...

   Dear Fork, I thought you should know; you have a son.His name is Spork. -Spoon P.S. He has your hair.