@truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages

   If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur.

   Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go.

   Attracting men is just like fishing. You just have to wiggle the bait.

   No coffee no workee.

   I'm not a social drinker. It's mostly work related.

   It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

   I listed Starbucks as my emergency contact at work.

   Girls just want to have funds!

   Why does the new thomas the train commercial say it's so easy to score??

   If it's the thought that counts, I should probably be in jail.

   So many freaks... so few circuses.

   Don't slap my ass then apologize.

   I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So, for this year, I'm dressing up as 3% phone battery.

   Miley Cyrus can't stop, but she really should.

   I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.

   PMS + GPS = Crazy biotch that WILL find you.

   A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

   Please hold while I put on my "Gosh I really care" face.

   Happy Birthday Sasha Obama! For her birthday, her daddy gave her Justin Bieber's phone records.

   My Mom just said "I'm still hot! It just comes in flashes!"