@teewuu86 Funny Status Messages

   How is illegal to talk on phone while driving in new york but its legal for the guy from cash cab to host a television show while driving?

   Bought a CD of ice cream van music.Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.”

   Wouldnt ot be nice if breast implants came with a squeaky toy inside them.

   Facebook was down for a couple of hours today. Yep. Nine months from now, there's going to be a lot of babies born.

   I'm doing a water balloon drive by at bestbuy tonight at 23:00 hours...... Whose with me?!?!

   Remember the first time you were ther leader of the line in kindergarten?........ That was the SHIZNITT!!!!

   I love the way you laugh....mostly because your boobs jiggle when you do :)

   Why would you want a camera on the iPad? That's like taking pictures with a clipboard!

   I did not fall! The floor looked sad, so I gave it a hug!!

   I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help. .... So I hired a hitman

   Oh, I see you're playing hard to get... I'm gonna play walk away.

   How do I know that Facebook is a woman? Well a man would never ask "Whats on your mind?" Would he?

   I believe in love at first sight....which is exactly why I stopped looking homeless people in the eyes. Just cant risk it.

   I like It when you smile...................... But I Love It When I'm The Reason.

   I call you sunshine.... not because you rise in the am; but because you go down at night.

   Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.

   Lets play post office... You lick and I'll deliver.

   **best way to be noticed in a bank** EVERYBODY FREEZE!....did anybody else feel that earthquake?

   a fart is merely the cry of an imprisoned turd

   NOTHING is more awkward then walking down an empty hallway and passing someone who you use to talk to but don't anymore.