@sEddy90 Funny Status Messages

   Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, & actually came back home.

   My wife is driving me crazy with nagging! I came back from the store with the list she gave me and now she's all on my case because I forgot ONE little kid.

   If you got a problem with your woman dont go out and get another woman cause now you got 2 problems

   Imagination is something that sits up with Dad and Mom the first time their teenager stays out late."

   It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes

   One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We're not sure if he's life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.

   in America, we will eventually have a President that used to play Pokemon as a child. Scary

   Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

   Who cares if my grandkids aren't gonna see a polar bear? I didn't see a dinosaur

   Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals.

   You were born as an original. Don't die as a copy

   filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

   It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

   Sex is like school .. you miss a period & you're in trouble.

   i text one of my boss "Whats the difference between this morning and your daughter?".He says "I dont know" .I say "I'm not cuming in this morning

   Facebook should have a ”no one cares” button

   Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young

   Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

   There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries

   Relationship has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.