@rush1oc Funny Status Messages

   The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

   A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

   Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

   A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice...

   I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

   First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down...

   Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

   A friend in need is a pest indeed.

   "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

   Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

   Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife....

   Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing....

   To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness...

   Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.