@ronniechapman Funny Status Messages

   Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)

   If you close your eyes when you're at the gym, it sounds like you're in a porno..

   I bet Jim Harbaugh used to unplug the Nintendo when his brother was winning.

   Boat on land. Worst escape vehicle ever.

   Religion is like a buffet. People take what they like and ignore the rest..

   Never get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you..

   On a scale from 1 to 420.. How much Easter candy are you eating right now?

   Girls want a fairy tale relationship, guys want a happy ending. ;)

   Strangers can become best friends just as easy as best friends can become strangers.....

   Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?

   It's all shlts and giggles till someone giggles and shlts..

   Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)

   Whenever you're feeling down, I'll be there to feel you up. ♥

   Me: "I'm here for the hookers and the booze!!!" Her: "Sir, this is a library." Me: *whispers... "I'm here for the hookers and the booze."

   Women are supposed to be like butterflies. Beautiful and hard to catch but most of y'all are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash.

   Dear sluts, This might come as a surprise to you, but your boobs go inside your shirt. Just kidding, show me your tiitties

   Relationships are a winter sport..

   I use to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean

   We all have a "friend" we don't even like..

   Check out Google's homepage right now. It's hilarious