@kalleygirl Funny Status Messages

   The Wizard Of OZ is 74 years old. Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no heart and no balls, she wouldn't be in Oz, she would be in congress!! 😂😆😀

   The Wizard of Oz is 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts, and no balls, she wouldn't be in Oz. She would be in congress...

   When a guy says he's looking for a "Country Girl" that doesn't mean he's looking for a girl that's been plowed more times then the family farm. 🐽🐮

   Why are we supposed to give special treatment to Black Friday, i'm just gonna come out and say it #ALLFRIDAYSMATTER

   Forget Klondike, you should see what people do for open bar!

   They say money can't buy you happiness, but I've got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.

   I bet more people call the gambling addicts helpline if they made every 10th caller a winner! ♠♥♣♦😃😳

   Twerking and Selfie have been added to the dictionary. Future and Optimism have been removed.

   You know, if Facebook is conflicting with your real life relationships then it's time to take a break. We need your full commitment over here!

   To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas gift.... 📕📗 They are due back at the library today. 😂😂😂

   Remember Snooki? Yeah me neither, it's like she disappeared! That's because she went back to her real name, Danny Devito... 😂

   When I was younger I always wanted to marry a doctor for money. Now I just want the prescriptions.

   There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them. 👌🏻

   SCOOBY DOO taught us that all the REAL monsters ARE human... 🙈🙉🙊

   A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "feel horrible I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfec

   A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone... 💍💍💍😂😂😂

   Why is Kim K. like KFC? After you've finished with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. 🍗🍖🤑🤑😂😂😂

   I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters? Do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"... 😀😳😜

   "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth!

   Scientists have discovered that there is intelligent DNA in some women. Unfortunately, 95% of them spit it out.