@imagyourhot Funny Status Messages

   I was drunk when I had my picture taken for my drivers license. That way, when the police pulls me over, I don't have to worry.

   Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

   you know, even black out drunk I can always remember where I should of stopped drinking.

   Hey I found your nose, it was in my business again..

   all I want for christmas is you... just kidding, get me diamonds.

   I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching... my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.

   Nothing brings two people closer than the hatred of a third person.

   Sometimes you have to hurt someone's feelings just to let them understand how it felt when they hurt yours.

   I'm just tryin' to stay ahead of my shadow.