@ericroflmao Funny Status Messages

   1 tequila, 2 tequilas, 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teuiqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklas, 9 trwqiukas 10 trewqiÃ...

   wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"

   wants to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put push-pins in all the locations that I've traveled to. But first I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down.

   I hate it when I look horrible in a group photo and the person that looks good refuses to delete it

   I'm a leader, not a follower.. Unless it's a dark place, then screw it, you're going first!

   Cyclists want to be treated like motorists until there's a red light. then all of a sudden they are pedestrians..

   A picture may say a thousand words...but with Photoshop, it tells a thousand lies!

   Lesson of the Day: This is your ass (_._) This is your ass in prison (_O_) . Any questions? Just say no to crime!

   Snooki's due date is December 21st. looks like the Mayans knew what they were talking about.

   Whenever I'm leaving the schools bathroom and I see the cleaning lady waiting,we exchange the knowing look that I just crapped in her office

   My Life These Days is Very Simple...Eat, Sleep, Change Facebook Status...Never Better...