@SammyMana Funny Status Messages

   Seeing your kid at work today really put all your other mistakes into perspective.

   Not listening to a single word you've said makes it impossible for you to run out of things to say to me.

   I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my Internet connection came back.

   I'm not entirely sure a life spent smoking e-cigarettes is worth prolonging.

   New 1 minute porno to be made, going to be called Done in 60 seconds!

   "Dammit I'm Mad" is spelled the same way backwards..