@DonSicks Funny Status Messages

   "Have fun" is just a nicer phrase for "have a horrible time without me."

   You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.

   Never trust someone that has 0 text messages in their phone.

   I wasnt that drunk..." "Dude, you were telling 'Yo mama' jokes to orphans...

   Who says I can't cook? You've obviously never tasted my cereal!

   It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when someone likes you.

   Cartoons: The only place where you can wear the same thing everyday, and nobody cares.

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)

   THE POWER OF THE WINKY FACE: "Hey, Want some of my banana? :)" ... "Hey, Want some of my banana? ;)"

   "What comes after the letter T?" Normal People: "U" Me: "Wait. A, B, C, D, E, F, G....."

   Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

   Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 5 songs in the world, right? Sincerly annoyed listeners.

   *Girl on Facebook* "I need a boyfriend for the winter to keep me warm" ...or you can just buy a coat

   "I wasnt that Drunk", "Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo"

   Lil Wayne Engaged, Wiz Khalifa Engaged, Snooki Pregnant & Engaged.... Everybody got a ring but Lebron.

   The teacher asked me what book I read this summer & I said, "Facebook."

   You like to sleep? Damn me too. Let's do it some time together ;)

   I want Jimmy Neutron's Brain, Phineas & Ferb's Summer, and Timmy Turner's Goldfish

   Teacher : "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!?!?!" - Student: "Are you asking me out? O_O"

   Gum: The real key to popularity. ;)