Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You should always f*ck like all your exes are watching.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 15:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 23:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the world round .........
←Rate | 07-10-2012 19:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think you know someone, but what you really know is only what they choose to show you.
←Rate | 02-07-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says “let's go get a cold one,” I always drive to the zoo because I know that's code for “steal a penguin.”
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the hardest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who's always right.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 10:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you. Don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of sh!tting on you.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 05:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon accidentally swallowed some food colouring yesterday. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t understand why some people are SO obsessed about having friends…. Last time I checked caskets didn’t come with bunk beds…. f*ck em.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 22:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kissing is weird as hell. "Um I really like you so I'm going to taste the inside of your face for a little while."
←Rate | 10-24-2012 13:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters needs to change its logo, all these years I thought I was eating owl wings.
←Rate | 10-02-2010 11:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm extremely popular on Facebook" - Guy sitting alone at the bar
←Rate | 09-22-2011 18:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still want to walk away in slo-mo from a cool-looking explosion one day, but running away from a clogged toilet will have to do for now.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says to a robber, "I have brand new never before opened electronics piled up in my living room." Like a Christmas tree.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 16:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This 'places' thing still scares me a little. It's like saying, "Hey stranger, come find me, look I made it really easy for you."
←Rate | 01-19-2011 14:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, you know you've either done something very right or something very wrong.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever swallow something potentially life-threatening and I need to induce vomiting, I hope you're around to make it easier.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 19:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sending us to the couch is not as bad as you think it is ladies. It makes us feel manly... like we're camping... with an angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 3rd stall over, flushing the toilet does not disguise explosive diarrhea. Thought you should know.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  




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