Mick F Funny Status Messages

   I always wanted to be a comic. Not a stand up act...an actual comic. I wanna slap a blob of Silly Putty on myself and make a copy of me.

   The way I see it...if that Snooki character can be perceived as hot, we ALL have a shot at the same distorted perception.

   When I think back at all the pluses of being Italian, the culture, the music, the cuisine, the women...the one thing that really stands out in my mind after all these years was that I netted more than $50,000.00 at my First Communion.

   Years ago, my band gigged with a band of morons. The first thing they said to me was, "We're gonna blow you off the stage." I told them, "In that case, right here would be fine."

   When it comes to certain people. The best part of them is the part that ran down their daddy's leg.

   When it comes to music...Rock...um...uh...ROCKS.

   :E (Guy who doesn't know how to twirl spaghetti).

   Once upon a time, many, many years ago in a galaxy far, far away, I was in the Boy Scouts. I slipped on a banana peel, hurt my ankle and a little old lady had to help me cross the street.

   I met a cougar online. She said she still turns heads at her age. She was right. When we hooked up, my head did a 360 and I started vomiting green pea soup.

   This just in. The following have been arrested for selling counterfeit pizza. Papa John-Hungry Howie-Little Caesar-Cici-Domino-and Chuck E. Cheese. Tear gas was used to bring them out of their hiding place...Pizza Hut.

   I always polish off a box of Oreos at the Dentists' office right before a cleaning. My last bill was, $2400.00.