Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always yell at Chinese people walking their dogs because it's rude to play with your food.
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm learning Spanish! Lesson 1 is pronunciation. So far I know "huh", "I'm sorry what" & "Can you say that again please"
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on your mind they said. Share how you're feeling they said. Only to find out that all we have said and done... will be stored for generations to see... "Hey let's check out all the funny things Grampa did when he was young. Whoa! Such a perv!"
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING...If you are on my friends list and we have NEVER spoken to one another AND you don't bother to "like" one of my status updates... I am not gonna do sh*t.... because I am FAR too lazy.
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many light bulbs does it take to change people...
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever find out who keeps Photoshoping that Channing Tatum loser's head on my body... I'M SUING!
←Rate | 05-02-2013 21:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just pissed so hard a little bit of laugh came out
←Rate | 04-24-2013 21:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peanut butter is the cheese of the candy world
←Rate | 04-20-2013 19:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your kids don't shut the hell up and rock when "Sad But True" starts playing, you've failed them as a parent.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 11:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hello modelling agency?" "Yeah, my Facebook photo has 27 likes and I think I'm ready to go pro."
←Rate | 04-12-2013 11:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad gave me some advice a few years ago. He said, "Allan, if you ever get into a fight in the bar, just take a ball from the pool table and put it in your sock." Worst advice ever, I could hardly walk.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 11:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A police officer stopped me last night whilst I was driving home from the bar. "Do you know why I was following you?" he asked. "Because my Facebook Stastus are funny?" I replied, absolutely hammered.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hate it when girls make me do the walk of shame in the morning. So embarrassing circling my own apartment waiting for them to leave.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you know if you're an attention seeking b*tch? Check your Facebook status, and if it reads something like 'having the worst day ever!" ... Bingo.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Eve doomed the entire human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've recently nicknamed my girlfriend 'auto-correct', because she constantly tries to interfere with what I want to say.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I want Charlie Sheen's life to flash before my eyes.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 10:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just launched a new fragrance! - a great way to announce a fart
←Rate | 04-03-2013 15:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 15:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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