K-Mac Funny Status Messages

   Wow, that one was so bad, all four cats left the room.

   I'm having doubts about that dehydrated water I bought for my plastic plants.

   I have Super-glue and a non-stick pan.....lets see who wins.

   Three blondes walk into a bar.....you'd think one of them would have seen it.

   Does anybody know where I could find out how much a footlong costs at Subway?

   Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin....and muffins are healthy. Your welcome.

   I need some quiet, alone time to comtemplate for a while. If you need me I'll be on MySpace.

   My neighbor asked me to look something up on my "internet machine".

   My elderly neighbor wanted to know what my email number was.

   Kristen Chenoweth, an actress........way better than Steven Tyler, a "singer".

   Steven Tyler singing the national anthem proves he needs a band behind him....he cannot sing.

   Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here in Government first.

   The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.

   Late fees make no sense. Charge me more money for not having enough money to pay you in the first place. Same with overdraft fees. I'm $2.00 short in my account (which means there is no money in there)......so take out $35.00 more.

   I'm going to admit myself into the Hokey-Pokey Institute and turn my life around.

   My cats think I'm the best cook.

   I tried letting a smile be my umbrella, but you can't whack people with a smile!

   The future was so much cooler in the past.

   I just clicked to go to games and got this message from Facebook; The server found your request confusing and isn't sure how to proceed.

   I don't want to make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the hat I wore in high-school.