Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 9 of 6376
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Romans after the eclipse… Veni, vidi, nōn vidi!
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04-08-2024 21:03
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Four pair of solar eclipse glasses for sale. Just used for just a few minutes. 1/2 price. 😎
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04-08-2024 19:31 by ChuckyB
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I don't know what to make for my dinner. In the refrigerator I have two all-beef patties and some special sauce, but I can't think of any other ingredients that I could add to these.
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04-08-2024 18:46
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Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?
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04-08-2024 14:16 by Otis
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You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.
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To all you folks out there that have no life and need this Eclipse to fulfill that void in your life? I heard if you moon the eclipse, you will become a smart ass like me and will become significant and with purpose!!
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04-08-2024 10:46 by DonnyWang
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Sometimes you have to sit back and play the role of a fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.
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By 11:59pm on 4/8/24, a lot of people are going to look ignorant. It will be those expecting to be raptured or everybody else.
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04-07-2024 16:58
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it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?
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04-07-2024 00:56 by Moon
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I had a thought, and then I had another thought. They bounced off each other and now I can't find either one.
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Ha ha funny
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04-05-2024 16:11
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Cooking for 2 hours just to eat for 10 minutes is the biggest scam in the world.
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Why are medication side effects always negative things? Why is it never a side effect that this medication may make you better at math or may cause extreme sexiness. Why is it never a side effect that you get smarter or can more easily learn French
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04-01-2024 19:09
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April 1
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04-01-2024 15:41
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When I say, "I hate drama" I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people's drama? Big fan!!!
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Also in the news, the national atheist church has applied for non-prophet status.
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03-29-2024 11:44
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Dear Facebook, stop asking me what's on my mind. We both know it's against community standards.
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When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong", do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.
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Мило плюну в душу, нагло улыбнусь.
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03-27-2024 03:19
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I'm combining Easter and April Fools Day together this year. I'm sending kids out to search for eggs I haven't hidden.