joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Maybe this world is another planet's hell...
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you mean I can't order a Whopper with bacon in between 2 chicken patties wrapped in a burrito? I thought this was Have It Your Way?
←Rate | 04-29-2010 13:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If i'm ever sleeping and a bunch of Zs start coming out of my head, please call a doctor.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 13:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am now home from what would have been a hard day had I done any work
←Rate | 04-29-2010 13:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canceled my trip to Arizona because my dog doesn't have papers...
←Rate | 04-29-2010 16:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should really turn my cell phone's voice recognition dialing off. I accidentally called Jesus Christ 24 times today. He's getting pissed...
←Rate | 04-29-2010 16:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My childhood self would be surprised I'm not playing with knives and fireworks, just because I can
←Rate | 04-29-2010 16:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon drunk dialing but luckily my mom stopped me. Thanks MADD (motha's against drunk dialing)
←Rate | 04-29-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon scouring youtube for the naked videos that somehow make it through.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 17:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hating is the sincerest form of flattery...
←Rate | 04-29-2010 19:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like me remember it's mind over matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 19:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't hate cuz I'm good; hate cuz you can't compete...
←Rate | 04-29-2010 19:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does "I caught myself singing a Justin Beiber song" go at the beginning or the end of a suicide note?
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know how to tell my parents they're adopted.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with keyboards
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon shall not waste his days in trying to prolong them.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:28 by Joser Comments (1)  




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