Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 13:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like Facebook because I can say whatever I want about anyone as long as it's carefully worded so you can't tell that I'm talking about you, Sarah.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 13:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I die, they will look through my portfolio of Facebook status updates and see that my life was not wasted.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 13:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call WASN'T important to them.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 13:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 13:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need to make better choices, I need better things to choose FROM.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad when you can see how long you slept by looking at the time between Facebook status updates.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To DO: ☑ Get groceries, ☑ Lay around, ☑ Eat stuff, ☑ Be Awesome.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that what I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I do something wrong.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday, you really got on my nerves.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if I don't kill you, I make you stronger? I really don't have any options here.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that the trouble I have with trouble is that it usually starts out as fun.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will never die.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The nice thing about waiting a week to listen to your voicemail is that those people usually don't need you for that thing anymore.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that if that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will always cherish the nice things I assume you are saying about me.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that this morning, every side of the bed is wrong.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 13:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two sides to every argument, but I don't have time to listen to yours.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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