Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   Just remember whatever you put up with you end up with!

   Man Rule #6......Men's Olympic Swimming events are the ''Only'' I repeat ''Only'' time speedo's are allowed!!!

   During the opening Olympic ceramony I thought the Chinese uniforms looked pretty good!....And the ones worn by the Chinese team weren't too bad either!!!

   I don't trust joggers! It's just a little too coincidental that they are the ones that find all the dead bodies!!!

   I was asked if I believed in Astrology! Of course my answer was no us Sagatarians are very skeptical people!!!

   You know your ''OLD'' when your age is higher than the whole Womens Olympic Gymnastic Team!!!

   I have yet to be intimidated by fancy wine lists thanks to my vast knowledge of fancy wines and my eeny, meeny, miny moe system!!!

   II wish the XXX Olympics gave medals for the ''Clean and Jerk''

   Right now the United States and China are tied in total Olympic medals! Of course we trail in Gold medals because every time we win one we have to turn it over to China to pay our debt!!!

   Before you judge me.......nmake sure you're perfect!

   Went for a job interview! The Boss looked over my resume' and says''For someone with absolutely no experience you sure are asking for a high salary!'' I said ''Well, Du'h...everyone knows the less you know the harder you have to work!!!''

   There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong!

   Penn State.....There's always Academics!

   Sorry I was talking while you were interupting!

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper....The closer it gets to the end the faster it spins!!!

   Let me in, Let me in, Let me in! I need to go back out again!----My Dog!

   Make today ridiculously amazing!

   It's not flirting it's being extra nice to someone extra attractive!

   I'm sex..unattractive and I know it!

   I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster!