Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 01:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lightbulb moment for the male species: Choose a woman with a brain... they all have vaginas.
←Rate | 08-07-2014 13:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for me, my life would be pretty awesome.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 11:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 10:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really like what you've done with your crazy.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 11:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a gentleman in these times is a thankless job. I tried to compliment a seemingly nice young lady and ended up having to explain that I'm not, thirsty, creepy or a stalker.
←Rate | 04-12-2014 03:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think some of these suicidal people are just attention whores. If you really want to jump off a building or bridge you should do it around midnight when there is no one to try and stop you.
←Rate | 01-16-2014 11:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stay in that position I just got a Facebook Notification.
←Rate | 07-26-2013 02:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the rest of the world, it’s called “football,” but in America it’s called “Let’s see what else is on TV.”
←Rate | 06-24-2014 00:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; You need to know that if her favorite movie is The Notebook, she will never be satisfied and happy.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so drunk I almost answered my phone.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 11:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days. But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave
←Rate | 08-08-2014 01:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y'all.
←Rate | 05-02-2014 09:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
←Rate | 07-12-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather mail myself somewhere than ride in a Smart Car.
←Rate | 01-04-2014 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cigarettes take 50 years to kill you. I'm more worried about the stuff that does it quickly like sharks, lightning, women or flamethrowers.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight around here." - Corporate ants.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Grandma, EBOLA is not a new perfume from Kim Kardashian
←Rate | 08-13-2014 02:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have accepted Nicki Minaj’s music as hip hop then you can’t *itch about Macklemore winning the best rap album award at the Grammys. You can't lower the bar for one person and deny another.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 05:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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