doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Settle down Cross Fit. Settle down. I just wanna lift weights not snatch smart cars.
←Rate | 11-19-2014 20:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think most of Adele's songs are about a cheeseburger.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 23:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not saying I'm in dire need of affection but the next girl I date better be an octopus on ecstacy.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 21:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty awesome at tripping over stuff that isn't even there.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A famous rapper got high and did something stupid? Well now I've seen everything.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 21:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to sleep with a t-shirt on is a great way to wake up knowing what a crocodile death roll feels like
←Rate | 01-15-2013 15:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon its Columbus Day! Find some people who look comfortable and make them move!
←Rate | 10-14-2013 16:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if...lollipops moaned every time we licked them
←Rate | 12-21-2014 21:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
←Rate | 08-20-2012 16:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugh, this girl who woke up in my bed is SO needy. She's all "Who are you?" "What'd you put in my drink?"
←Rate | 10-21-2011 17:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Lets talk about safe IPs. Let's talk about piracy. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things on your PC."
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally changed my mood on MySpace to "ninja" but nobody saw me do it.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry there are plenty other fish in the sea. None as attractive as the one that just dumped you but plenty other fish!
←Rate | 12-31-2011 17:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I pray is that when I die the death certificate does not contain the phrases "straining at stool" or "unusual mummification".
←Rate | 10-05-2011 01:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 08:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I assume "Luftballons" is German for "bottles of beer on the wall"
←Rate | 09-12-2011 19:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture.
←Rate | 09-02-2013 17:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon when people say that drinking is not the answer, it makes me wonder if they truly understand the question.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 08:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want a sky full of lighters! I just want the one that fell under my driver's seat!
←Rate | 01-03-2012 11:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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