Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The Bible says, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." It doesn't say anything about the one who lives across town.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 19:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon 20 minutes later, and I can't remember who I "sanded my wood" to. I have to find better imaginary girlfriends.
←Rate | 12-06-2012 07:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My right hand dumped me and my left hand found someone else.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 15:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Trump is AIDS in human form, then Obama is the a$$hole he got it from.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:34 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, so I signed up for Missionary work. Here I sit in Uganda and still no sex. Sheesh!
←Rate | 01-09-2013 08:34 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a dream about a planet run by orphans who sing a song filled with unintelligible lyrics and had authority figures with voices that blared like brass. Then I woke up and A Charlie Brown Christmas was on.
←Rate | 08-18-2012 09:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing that screams "originality' like a bar named Cheers.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 14:27 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is everyone so down on Manti Te'o? When you get right down to it...all relationships are imaginary.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 00:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just invented a birth control pill for men. I figure it makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bullet proof vest.
←Rate | 04-20-2013 19:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard someone say they wouldn't wish Dementia/Alzheimers on their WORST ENEMY. I would. They'd forget about killing me.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 15:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tagged Photos-Rule #1: The hottest girl in the pic is the one not tagged.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 10:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't consider myself a Tebow hater...that label is placed on we Tebow realists by his sycophantic minions. Just now...he threw a dead on pass...at the receiver's ankles.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 22:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't had a cigarette in 11 months. Did it on my own. My mom is trying to quit but couldn't do it by herself so she went to a hypnotist. She still smokes, but thinks she's a chicken.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 19:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all days, who deletes someone on Mother's Day....just for that, I'm never talking to my mom again.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 09:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's so bad about the Zika virus anyway? Some people like a little head.
←Rate | 08-01-2016 09:30 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog is man's best friend. Cat is an acquaintance.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 18:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slept late because DST time is back. That's 'cause it's really 10:35. No, I guess it's really 11:35, but it's 10:35, but it really is...well it's 11:36 now because I've gone on and on about what the time really is.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 11:33 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are those of us here in Central FL that don't care about the Daytona 500...or as I like to call it, The Redneck Equivalent Of The Royal Wedding.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 09:38 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say that anyone who messes with America, is gonna get a good dose of Red, White, Black and Blue!
←Rate | 05-28-2012 09:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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