@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages

   Okay, I'll stop. But shouldn't I listen first, THEN collaborate?

   hates the KKK as much as anyone... but it is kinda neat that they introduced "hoodies" to American fashion.

   If you wake up with zits all over your face... you may be suffering from sleep acnea.

   Ate some bad Indian food... and now I know how to pronounce that symbol that Prince changed his name to.

   I always feel a little bad for a guy when I notice he missed a belt loop on his pants... or lost his family in a fire.

   I bet people don't even wear capes in Cape Town.

   Did you hear about the new Emo/Action film? They just cut to the chase scene.

   I'm writing a book about cheap imported cars... It's a real Saab story.

   You can call a girl cute or hot and it's basically the same thing... I have found this rule does not apply to babies.

   doesn't know what the problem is... I keep drinking 6-packs but my abs never look any better.

   “When it Absowutewy, Positivewy has to be thewe ovewnight." ~ FuddEx

   A lot of sports teams are called 'The Devils'... if I had a sports team I would call it 'The Jesus Christ Almighties'

   atheists only exist cause they haven't tasted this grilled cheese I just made.

   I wonder if I ask too many hypothetical questions?

   finds it ironic that I have to get out of bed on humpday.

   a little rusty with my Spanish so I'm gonna go ahead and assume "beunos tardes" means "so long, you f****** retards."

   Controversy in Tibet... they are naming the first black Dalai Lama, the Dalai Lamar.

   The most impressive magic trick of all is how magicians are able to make all of their shame disappear.

   I missed my 5 minute window for a Jack Kevorkian joke. Dammit... now they have all been done to death.

   Whenever I call a Jewish friend and they don't answer... I worry Mel Gibson has killed and eaten them.