FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   Beyonce might be hot but underneath all that hair there will always be a little rubber band ball of nap.

   LOOK LEFT ------------------------> you failed.

   Some girls drink to get drunk. Some drink to get bi.

   "for just 15 cents a day" ...*changeschannel*

   The Allstate guy doesn't count as a black friend.

   Sometimes I lay on my kitchen floor and pretend to be a crumb

   Next time I see a dead deer on the side of da road I'm going to leave & come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign says, "Help, need ride"

   Fellas: If you're playing with your X-Box all day, she'll break up with you and some dude will be playing with your ex's box all night.

   If her p*ssy tastes like vinegar, she wasn't expecting you to get this far.”

   You're not in the club(-.(-.(-_-).-).-) well f**k you guys t(-_-t)

   I'd appreciate it if the city just delivered the phone books straight to my recycle bin.

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"

   I went to a Muslim strip club last night, everyone was shouting "SHOW US YER FACE"

   I keep a baseball bat under the bed just in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me..

   That moment of depression when you find out that you ran out of milk for your cereal.

   When you have sex with someone for the first time you get an idea of what their ex liked

   Shoutout to all the dark skinned girls with the cheetah print tattoo that looks like a 2nd degree burn....

   Floyd Mayweather beat up his wife and wanted to go to jail so he can duck Manny Pacquiao again

   White parents: "Tommy, go in timeout Kid: NO mommy, YOU get in timeout. Black parents: Get ur ass in ur room before I punch you in the throat!

   I mean, we all grieve in our own ways. She chose to listen to The Bodyguard soundtrack all night. I chose $1,100 worth of lap dances.