flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I'm telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours
←Rate | 12-26-2013 05:23 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Mary and Joseph were like "Gee thanks little drummer boy. Cause the one thing every sleep deprived parent wants for their newborn is a drum solo!"
←Rate | 12-24-2013 06:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people in this world and it is easily determined by what they do when an ice cube falls on the floor.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 05:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 08:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The snooze button, because there's nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 21:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I owe my bookie $300.I bet on a fight before I realized it was Rocky 4. I did the same thing with Space Jam and Air Bud
←Rate | 12-10-2013 07:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 07:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you're a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 07:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Women's fight club is don't tell anyone what you're mad about or why you're fighting
←Rate | 11-29-2013 07:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Protip: If your turkey tastes like bird flavored jello, it is undercooked.
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear my heart on my sleeve and my lunch on the entire front part.
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog just farted so bad his fleas jumped off
←Rate | 11-25-2013 05:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What are you doing? Are you writing down everything I'm saying?! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG?!?!" -anyone dating Taylor Swift
←Rate | 11-23-2013 20:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could amaze you with the things I don't know and terrify you with the things I do
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parrot kept me up til three in the morning. He had a case of the hiccups. Finally figured out he was just imitating my hiccups from earlier.
←Rate | 11-07-2013 20:57 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you live in a custom-built house that doesn't have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
←Rate | 11-05-2013 20:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The real reason I'm not a superhero.... Pockets,I need my pockets.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I've done in my entire life.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 05:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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