BigSarge Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hit a new low today. I used a cheat code on "The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout" on my XBox Kinect
←Rate | 04-18-2013 23:17 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to dogs.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 19:05 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like my Facebook updates, please feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends' pages where the "big news" of the day is when one of their grandkids finally took a $h!t all by themselves.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 19:04 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart has made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing...... Walmart is going to invade Target.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 00:00 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody else wonder why Noah didn't swat the two mosquitoes?
←Rate | 04-10-2013 12:21 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
←Rate | 04-08-2013 14:08 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Kim Jong Un, Mr Dennis Rodman didn't impress you? Well here let me introduce you to US Naval Seal Team 6!!
←Rate | 04-03-2013 22:19 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 16:27 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon New "Shots" Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone's face.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 02:11 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid they didn't call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "A Brat about to get an a$s whooping".
←Rate | 03-25-2013 15:45 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’ll never get the same results running on a tread mill as you will running from a pi$sed off Pit Bull
←Rate | 03-25-2013 15:17 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "thought bubbles" appeared above my head every time I ran into a moron, I'd seriously be screwed.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 14:40 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Surgeon General has declared that cigarettes can harm your children....... Fair enough. I'll start using an ashtray!
←Rate | 03-20-2013 14:57 by BigSarge Comments (1)  


   messageicon Nice try "St. Patrick's Day", but I don't need a reason to drink!!
←Rate | 03-18-2013 01:58 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently putting Alka Seltzers in my mouth while getting "born again" and pretending I'm possessed by the Devil is not so funny to "non drunk people".
←Rate | 03-18-2013 01:56 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Part of my workout routine is that I always get hammered before I go jogging...... That way I never go jogging.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 02:30 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok A$$hole, just go around me. I'm already doing 40 over the limit, and I'm not speeding up. Stupid tailgater..... With your stupid flashing lights
←Rate | 03-17-2013 02:24 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telling your woman to calm down, works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 21:37 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: "An armed lunatic stormed a gun range and killed 20 NRA members". - Said no headline ever
←Rate | 03-08-2013 16:35 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kidnapping? Such a harsh word. I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.
←Rate | 03-08-2013 11:56 by BigSarge Comments (0)  




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