ANONYMOUS Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon wondering when will he ever learn the answer to lifes problems arent at the bottom of a bottle, theyre on facebook!!!!!
←Rate | 04-01-2009 22:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon allowed to talk about fight club
←Rate | 03-31-2009 13:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon chopping wood for the electric fireplace
←Rate | 03-29-2009 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has decided that when I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car
←Rate | 03-29-2009 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why retarded people are blissful
←Rate | 03-29-2009 09:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon busy fighting all her other personalities Crazy, Neurotic, and Shy on who gets to write the status message today….to be continued
←Rate | 03-29-2009 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon didn't go to highschool, he went to school high
←Rate | 03-28-2009 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon he often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
←Rate | 03-28-2009 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
←Rate | 03-28-2009 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Same Great Taste 40% Fewer Calories, 30% Less Fat.
←Rate | 03-27-2009 12:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Good Source Of Calcium.
←Rate | 03-27-2009 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!
←Rate | 03-26-2009 11:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not even supposed to be here today
←Rate | 03-26-2009 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon training for his fight with Apollo Creed
←Rate | 03-26-2009 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think ive remembered this before.
←Rate | 03-24-2009 15:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Celebrities walk on the red carpet because they're famous, I walk on toilet paper cuz I'm the sh**!
←Rate | 03-24-2009 04:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a pocket full of sunshine.
←Rate | 03-23-2009 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.
←Rate | 03-21-2009 08:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to live in the real world but he got evicted
←Rate | 03-20-2009 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon receives sound advice from girlfriends. 99% sound, 1% advice.
←Rate | 03-20-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  




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