Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The more selfies she has, the more times you'll have to tell her she's pretty everyday.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to believe in a book to be a nice person and treat people right.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 10:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 04:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think there would be at least one extraterrestrial in a Miss Universe contest.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait, don't go. I can ruin it some more.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 02:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Every date is the first date if you get black out drunk every time.
←Rate | 01-23-2014 14:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Assumption club I think we all know why we're here...
←Rate | 04-14-2018 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The apocalypse doesn't care what your credit score is.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a husband. Hear me apologise for something I did in my wife's dream.
←Rate | 09-17-2018 02:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sexually identify as please stop talking to me.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
←Rate | 02-25-2018 10:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I'm not worrying about cancer.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 05:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
←Rate | 05-25-2013 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it go away.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how many people's phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for sex, I would have quit being a grown-up a long time ago.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a twerk video that made me wish I was Stevie Wonder.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Canadian cops play good cop better cop.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 13:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
←Rate | 09-19-2014 02:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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