Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Whenever I see someone walking around with a selfie stick, I always wonder what happened for them to just give up on life like that.
←Rate | 03-28-2016 14:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a Facebook friend deleted and blocked.
←Rate | 08-13-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only if these women were as thorough in choosing a man as they are in choosing which selfies to upload on facebook maybe they wouldn't get heartbroken so often.
←Rate | 07-13-2014 23:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soul mate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 05:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships these days are like birthdays; once the cake is eaten, the party's over!
←Rate | 06-26-2013 06:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon This has been one of those years That I should've stayed in bed
←Rate | 12-06-2013 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy long romantic walks to my liquor cabinet.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 11:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After enough vodka shots, a toddler bed is actually quite comfortable.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've outsourced my LIKES, Birthday wishes and comments on your post and pics to a firm in India. So if Sanjay isn't showing you enough love, please let me know right away.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 09:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who say the quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach hasn't seen his browser history.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do fools fall in love? Because smart people know that, odds are, it will end horribly.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 00:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before Kanye west says he is going to be a bigger hero than Nelson Mandela by the time he reaches 95, shouldn't he spend 27 years in jail first?
←Rate | 12-07-2013 04:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 01:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 10:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for me, my life would be pretty awesome.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 11:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really like what you've done with your crazy.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 11:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a gentleman in these times is a thankless job. I tried to compliment a seemingly nice young lady and ended up having to explain that I'm not, thirsty, creepy or a stalker.
←Rate | 04-12-2014 03:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think some of these suicidal people are just attention whores. If you really want to jump off a building or bridge you should do it around midnight when there is no one to try and stop you.
←Rate | 01-16-2014 11:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stay in that position I just got a Facebook Notification.
←Rate | 07-26-2013 02:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the rest of the world, it’s called “football,” but in America it’s called “Let’s see what else is on TV.”
←Rate | 06-24-2014 00:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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