Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Doctor: “Sir....” Patient: “It's MA'AM. I identify as a female” Doctor: “Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer”
←Rate | 01-26-2019 04:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I graduated at the top of my anger management class
←Rate | 10-25-2017 02:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "There's strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
←Rate | 03-27-2015 12:10 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think my jokes are bad, you should see my choice in women.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 04:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where I am about to make a dentist a lot of money.
←Rate | 06-23-2018 05:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ate a salad when I could've eaten a cheeseburger. Where's my reward? I should get an award, right? Maybe a cheeseburger.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 16:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
←Rate | 05-29-2017 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just don't get it, That men just don't get it.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 12:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We used to watch the news to find out the truth. If you're looking for the truth now, the last thing you'd want to watch is the news.
←Rate | 08-18-2013 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 01:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don't have long to live.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm clingy, but not " Simon Cowell's t-shirt" clingy.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 14:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's either you wear crocs or you have a sex life. Can't have both.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 13:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 12:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 00:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I call the other side of my bed the Passenger side. It only makes sense.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 12:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more selfies she has, the more times you'll have to tell her she's pretty everyday.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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