doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I can't afford a Carnival Cruise this year so I'm just going to hang out at a Porta-Potty near the beach.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 19:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its all fun and games till your both naked and someone is getting their face nawed on.
←Rate | 05-29-2012 23:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the kind of guy who tells an angry albino to lighten up
←Rate | 04-02-2012 07:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon For some reason, they dont seem to be marketing the Tickle Me Elmo as heavily this Christmas.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 15:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This CNN coverage of a missing plane is the longest episode of Gilligan's Island I've ever watched.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon ".. So he sayeth unto me 'Taketh NyQuil with the Wine and Ye shall feel the path with your thoughts and hear things with your vision.'"
←Rate | 01-15-2013 21:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna make someone feel uncomfortable? After shaking their hand slowly lift your hand to your nose and say, Mmmmmmmm.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 17:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just winked at myself in a mirror and physically felt the soul leave my body.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:51 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 69% of people on FB are childish and immature
←Rate | 11-05-2012 18:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell a lot about someone by the swastika they've carved into their forehead.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 14:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why aren't we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally got around to shaving my crotch after a few years. Its nice to see my knees again.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 05:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the end of the day, I just want to be loved but at the beginning of the day, gotta get rif of this morning wood.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 14:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 15:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "All the kids were free-range kids" years old.
←Rate | 07-20-2015 23:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know they didn't ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
←Rate | 03-09-2016 12:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon MTV has proven that the recent rise in teenage pregnancy has reallyyyyy changed the definition of a MILF
←Rate | 01-12-2012 01:44 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meanwhile, on the east coast, thousands of children are changing their costume from pirate to snowboarder.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 20:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come when women do it, they're "cougars," and when I do it, I'm "trespassing on school property"?
←Rate | 08-10-2011 16:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, Bee Gees, I'll bite. What qualifies as "more than a woman"?
←Rate | 01-29-2012 16:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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