Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My donations to the food driver are bittersweet. I give, but it's canned sliced beets and Beefaroni.
←Rate | 05-31-2016 12:41 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 13:13 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not my friend, click like then copy and paste this on your timeline. If we're truly friends, do nothing. I'd never insult your intelligence with such a ridiculous command.
←Rate | 08-04-2016 14:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hands don't make the music, the soul does.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 01:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that kids with Down Syndrome always seem to be so up? We could all take a lesson from them.
←Rate | 03-27-2012 06:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was in the 10th grade I was taught $ex-ed by a 65-year-old nun, which is kind of like taking barbecue lessons from a vegetarian.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 09:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't know why poor people hate me. There's always a new refrigerator box in my front yard for them to use."~ Rush Limbaugh
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Perhaps when facebook goes public, they'll be able to afford servers that don't remind me of the unreliable one's who work the graveyard shift at Denny's.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 10:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the immortals survived St. Paddy's Day I see? Let us mere mortals now join our brethren and worship at our place of choice to further along that regressive human trait known as hypocrisy.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 08:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Hump Day means zip to the 15% who work weekends, the 30% who do six days a week, 8% unemployed, 10% disabled, 15% on call, and the 20% who are retired. To the 2% that this actually applies to....bl0w me.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 10:27 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's always that one person who doesn't get it. Don't be that person, no...don't be that person.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 07:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon G0D has granted me the Midas Touch. So far today, everything I've touched has turned to gold. Wha? Oh. Heh heh. No more Cheetos for breakfast.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 05:56 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sofa loves playing hide n' seek with the remotes, clever ba$tard always wins too.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 19:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girfriend's a h00ker with an IQ of 178. What a f**king know-it-all.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 20:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon So facebook is now making Poke suggestions. And it could be anything on your friends list. God knows I've always wanted to f**k the s**t out of McDonald's.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 07:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care what anyone says. MySpace is NOT dead. I just friended two hotties. Wilma and Betty. In ya face, suckas!
←Rate | 04-25-2012 07:34 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah yeah, I'm a Grammar Nazi. Better than a Dumb Fokker.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 13:40 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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