Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon WHEW! I just had a near-work experience...
←Rate | 05-28-2010 11:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if gay people ever say things like "Oh my god that is SO straight."
←Rate | 05-17-2010 09:50 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Where did Macaulay Culkin get the cardboard people for the party in Home Alone? Don't tell me you haven't also wondered this from time to time.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all out of tea and sympathy. How about some coffee and you f*cking deserved it?
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really don't think baby steps is an effective way of getting somewhere. For one thing, they fall on their faces half the time.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 18:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind going to work. It's that 8 hour wait to go home that sucks!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫ If you're crazy and you know it take your pills! ♫
←Rate | 05-17-2010 09:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My front door mat actually says "Come back with a warrant."
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are put off when I greet them with a kiss. Maybe I should use less tongue?
←Rate | 05-14-2010 18:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't even know how to spell anymore. I type the 1st half of the word and wait for auto correct to do the rest.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 13:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need a set time limit for when people can say "long story short," because it usually comes WAY too late.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The list of things I won't eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must be a real self-esteem killer for a fat lady if the show always ends after she sings.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body is not my temple... It's more like a bar and grill...
←Rate | 04-19-2010 19:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say there's a sucker born every minute but I'd be more curious to find out at what rate swallowers are born.
←Rate | 04-20-2010 22:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever laugh so hard you accidentally work your abs?
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My check engine light is on. Someone needs to service me.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  




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