Funny Status Messages Search

X is Pluto was rejected from the planet category because of its crooked orbit; even our solar system kicks the stumbling drunk guy out of the party."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-11-2011 18:44 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X so the technology exists allowing us to watch TV and movies in 3-D or HD, but when it comes to security camera footage it still looks like it's being shot with the camera from Blair Witch Project."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-15-2011 17:40 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X had lucky charms for breakfest. I take this day very seriously."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-16-2011 19:01 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Don't be so serious. If you can't laugh at yourself, call me...I'll laugh at you."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-16-2011 19:03 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is This is one holiday where our full-blown alcoholism could possibly go undetected.. Happy St. Patty's Day!!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-16-2011 19:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"'s you up like a "G" :)

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-17-2011 00:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water... it's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola."

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-21-2011 20:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is justin bieber is still alive :(

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-01-2011 23:15 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is if Osama really did believe that he was getting all those virgin's after death,.. umm.. then why the f*ck was he hiding for ten years?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-02-2011 11:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Misunderstanding one word can make all the difference - like the time my girlfriend said that she'd like me to splurge on her occasionally."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Any story you tell about something you did the night before, that starts with the word "Apparently," is probably awesome."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is No, I'm not "done sleeping." In fact, I will never be done sleeping, I'm merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in its current, climate-controlled location.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I do not understand how a phone that starts your car can be a selling point. If someone steals your phone, they not only have your car, but more than likely your facebook, which let's face it, is scarier than losing a car.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Inside me there is a thin, blonde, glamourous woman. But that's just because I lost a bet at a sorority party and had to eat a barbie doll."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Not that I'm complaining, but I think the sales lady at the furniture store misunderstood when I told her I wanted one nightstand."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-09-2011 14:34 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I'm a little tea pot, short and stout... Consequently, my brother the beer keg gets all the chicks."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-11-2011 20:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Having a wireless mouse makes it way too tempting to throw it across the room when my computer gives me trouble."

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-11-2011 20:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Are you guys really my friends or are you just my facebook friends?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-11-2011 20:41 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-11-2011 23:10 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is ...remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-11-2011 23:14 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)