flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   I'm no grammar Nazi, but I hate when a girl's period comes late

   my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols

   if someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my ass?

   I am not joking who ever pissed off mother nature Stop!

   Whoever blew bubbles as a kid , he is back in town looking for you!

   i am the guy in the middle in the kmart joe boxer ad!

   i think this world wide web thing has ran is course!

   3 Year Old: Mommy, was daddy ever inside you like I was? Wife: Yes. But only for a minute... two tops. Me: ...

   ever look at somebodys feet and there toes look like Fritoes

   voting this year is like picking out what STD do you want!!!!!!! you know is going to burn!

   pulled my groin playing reindeer games!

   CAN I JUST GET A DAMM CUP OF COFFEE?

   she said she was getting close to 40 and I ask from what side?

   that was good I walked into walmart and walkout pissed off and a headache in under 2 mins. is it wrong to want to flip off the golden girl at the front door when she says have a nice day

   do the indianapolis colts play at home this week? anybody?

   OK WHERE CAN I EAT AT AND NOT PISS EVERYBODY OFF?

   ever have a large lunch and go up a cup size?

   you have 1 more see whats left,been damaged, left for dead, returned already what the heck is that? shopping day left!