equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   WARNING!!! Drug use may cause memory loss and....uhm....

   i dont know what makes you stupid, but it works really well.

   Bill Murray walked up to me today in McDonalds, grabbed a fry off of my tray, ate it, and said " No one is gonna believe you"

   I shot an Elephant in my pajamas.... How he got in my pajamas i'll never know.

   There is a name for people without beards.... Women!

   Our breakup was due to religious differences. She didn't think I was God.

   Here is a joke for all of the mind readers out there....

   Childbirth...So easy even a woman can do it!

   Just got home and found all the doors and windows open everything gone! What kind of person does that to someones Advent calender?

   you're so stupid, there's not a bus short enough for you.

   An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over....yep she needs a walker!

   Drinking at a bar last night so I took a bus home. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but i've never driven a bus before!

   show me the benefits part and THEN i'll let you know if we can be friends

   I want to motorboat her soul.

   I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

   When you play Seattle, you play the whole state!

   a Genie told me I could have a great memory or an epic Phallus, but for the life of me I can't remember which one I chose...

   Did you hear?? The Pope is giving up Jesus for Lent!!