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ZINC Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 9
I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
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11
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01-11-2015 21:02 by
Zinc
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Oh good YouPorn put up all their Easter themed porn.
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4
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04-03-2017 00:11 by
Zinc
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My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
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6
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04-27-2012 05:10 by
Zinc
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Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
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10
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09-23-2015 22:54 by
Zinc
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I wanna steal a Krispy Kreme truck then go on a high speed chase becuase it will be funny to watch a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck
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12
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10-01-2015 21:10 by
Zinc
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who needs people when you got pizza
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14
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01-11-2015 21:00 by
Zinc
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I wonder what gets changed less frequently...the diaper of a crackhead's baby or the filter cartridge in my Brita.
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01-11-2015 21:05 by
Zinc
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If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
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9
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02-24-2015 18:14 by
Zinc
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I want to have three kids than name them Ctrl, Alt, Delete than if they screw up I can hit them all at once. #ellen
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9
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10-01-2015 21:13 by
Zinc
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It's so cold out I've just turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
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02-24-2015 18:14 by
Zinc
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Last year I asked santa for the sexiest person ever and I woke up in a box
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7
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10-01-2015 21:11 by
Zinc
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I'm sick of people comparing Freddie Mercury to God. I mean, the guy was pretty good, but he was no Freddie Mercury.
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42
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05-28-2013 01:23 by
Zinc
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I really only realize what I'm missing by not having a relationship when I have to make my own sandwiches.
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05-28-2013 01:16 by
Zinc
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How can the world end in 2012, if I have a can of corn that expires in 2013?
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02-13-2012 22:14 by
Zinc
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Congress always makes me feel nostalgic for college when I waited for the last minute to do work and blame anyone but myself.
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01-11-2015 21:13 by
Zinc
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AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
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10
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09-07-2016 20:54 by
Zinc
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1
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█████████████████████ Take that prism!
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15
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06-10-2013 00:18 by
Zinc
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What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease? Let's name our sandwich shop after it
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01-11-2015 21:08 by
Zinc
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I overheard that ABC is not cancelling Roseanne but is seamlessly going to replace Roseanne with Danny Devito
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8
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06-04-2018 11:29 by
Zinc
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1
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I cut myself while shaving today, because who has time to do both?
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27
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06-10-2013 00:10 by
Zinc
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