JAB Funny Status Messages

   I'm still wondering exactly how long a cotton picking minute really is. Does anyone know ?

   I am running for King in our next election, this president su - cks. . .

   Before you knew it, the here and now was 30 yrs ago. . .

   Ladies, unless you really want to bang me, please stop poking me if you're not going to follow through. . .

   Adrenalin highs are my favorite, it helps me conserve my weed. . .

   If there's a woman out there who wants to $exually harass me, let me know.. I will message you my cell # . . .

   Think I will get a night job being a cuddler. After 8 hrs the $ex is free. . .

   I didn't know which one of my multiple personalities I wanted to be today, so I stayed home instead. . .

   Hello, it was great ignoring each other while I was here. We need to do this more often. . .

   75% of women who smoke swallow. . .

   When emptying email spam folder, why does anyone need to be asked are you sure you want to empty this folder. We do not need to be asked are you sure. Yes I am f#cking sure ! ! !

   I've had an awesome life and I still haven't needed to use algebra. Who was the a-hole who made up a useless subject like this to be tested in on is school, did I mention they were an a-hole. . .

   I think states are over looking the Dr Kevorkian method. Enough said. . .

   I think I will go for a drive, just to pick my nose. . .

   I called a crematory to make an appointment, they told me they don't do live customers...

   Considering the hours I keep. I am awake while you sleep. Incase of a national disaster leave me your numbers and I will call you to wake you up so you can evacuate. . .

   Another phrase/saying I do not understand : Some people are real a$$holes. Is that any different from a fake a$$hole. . .

   I'm going to the Aquarium, do some fishing. . .

   I will accept drink a case of beer challenge. . .

   Life is a vicious circle, I will trip you during a game of musical chairs. . .