hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wish "you dumbass" was an appropriate way to end a work email
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they're not looking
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to go to Best Buy and drink a cup of coffee in front of the Geek Squad guys then hand them my empty cup and tell them I successfully installed Java....they hate me
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it's because she's a big dumb stinkyhead that's jealous of my awesome Transformers collection
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:45 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor said I may have a strained abdominal muscle which is cool because that means I have an abdominal muscle
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a bit so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon Occasionally, I like to go to walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If sober me won't do it...drunk me will.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 34, looking for some action!", so I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think these "self checkout" lanes at walmart would have a curtain or something....this is embarassing :-[
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to be so rich I forgot what country I left my private jet at after a crazy weekend
←Rate | 10-10-2012 05:22 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon it sad that the plans I make after work depend on how much charge I have left in my phone battery?
←Rate | 10-10-2012 05:21 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just gave the guy who called with the wrong number and woke up my newborn the Liam Niesen speech from Taken.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 05:21 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe our parents used to have to sit & wait for someone to develop their film before they could show off pictures of their food.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 05:20 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
←Rate | 10-07-2012 09:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you were a kid there was nothing more satisfying as when you made the honking signal to the truck driver and he honked back
←Rate | 10-07-2012 09:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself
←Rate | 10-07-2012 09:01 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only dead fish swim with the stream.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I leave a store without buying anything all I can think is “act natural, you're innocent”.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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