doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just farted myself out of a dead nap, so yeah, you could say I've got sexual dynamo on lockdown!
←Rate | 02-05-2014 20:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brad but you'll probably see a special on A&E about me one day.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 15:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only Peyton can still set Super Bowl record while team is behind a hundred points
←Rate | 02-04-2014 15:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just put my left hand in the friend zone
←Rate | 02-04-2014 15:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time is running out for me to discover the meaning of life
←Rate | 02-04-2014 15:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh yeah Morgan Freeman... My Olympic moment involved an open bar. I don't remember the details, but I needed stitches.
←Rate | 01-22-2014 06:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I'm gone.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 21:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at my most savage when I'm solo love making to the lion king soundtrack.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 21:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession. Smell my finger.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 21:51 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new years resolution is to finishing off in women's hair instead of Kleenex...
←Rate | 12-27-2013 19:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can sing Jingle Bells without jiggling your "gentleman's sausage" then you're way more mature than me.
←Rate | 12-12-2013 18:03 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon Miley Cyrus eats Twerky for Thanksgiving..... (I am so sorry)
←Rate | 11-25-2013 18:17 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon Reece's Peanut Butter C Cups. Someone get to work on this. Now.
←Rate | 11-07-2013 18:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon So your saying there is no crying in Flirting? That sure explains a lot!
←Rate | 11-07-2013 18:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, I begin to regret eating that third breakfast plate at Shoney's.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 18:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Promiscuous wizards often get staff infections. bippity, boppity, BOOOOO! HAPPY HALLOWEEN
←Rate | 10-31-2013 00:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why aren't we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuse me... Tell me more about this mythical corner, around which fudge is made.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh Nothing. Just over here choking on dinner, fighting death like it's my job.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady GaGa had no idea what she was doing when she asked R. Kelly to "do what you want with my body"... Psssssssss
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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