Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hate when a stranger smiles at me and I have to smile back and pretend I'm not dead inside.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 08:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon People would never be late if the Mario "running out of time" music started playing a few minutes before.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 08:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's not what it looks like!" - said when something is exactly what it looks like
←Rate | 02-02-2013 12:28 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 14:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 14:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get out of bed, it's a trap.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 08:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be freaked out that I'm knocking at your door. Haven't seen you update your status for a few days, and just wanted to make sure you're okay.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 07:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If naps had a taste, I bet they'd be so delicious.
←Rate | 01-31-2013 01:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The instructions for this tent is just a picture of a husband yelling at his wife, that's weird.
←Rate | 01-31-2013 01:25 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my khaki shorts, I need to give a couple more shakes after peeing
←Rate | 01-30-2013 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 14:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 13:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 14:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.
←Rate | 01-22-2013 12:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't put nipples on the letter o when there's two of them next to each other, then you're no fun and we can't hangout. B⊙⊙bs.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 14:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 13:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except that thing where you shut off your phone and close your eyes, but let's not get crazy.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 13:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet guys are getting better at finding the clitoris now that pubes are extinct.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 05:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sex was great, but I faked the cuddle.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 04:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just wrote "your" instead of "you're", now I have to knock out my teeth and live in a trailer.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 04:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


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