Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Before ou diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not in fact surrounded by a$$holes!!!
←Rate | 07-22-2012 13:46 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found an old coin and took it to a coin expert to examine it! He said ''This could be worth $5,000,000.00!'' After catching my breath I gasped ''Really?"' he tossed it back to me and said ''Yeah, if you use it to scratch off a winning lottery ticket!!!'
←Rate | 07-22-2012 11:20 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, how stiff, how brittle,you can always still put your foot in your mouth!!!
←Rate | 07-22-2012 09:59 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the Economy, remember that money I said never to worry about?!!!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 18:24 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish cake went straight to my Pen!s!!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 18:21 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may appear like I'm doing nothing, but i'm actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 18:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not like being told what to do unless I'm naked!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 17:58 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Vick announced that he is probably going to get another Dog soon! Dogs now are like ''Meow!''
←Rate | 07-21-2012 06:58 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are only two things I want out of life! 1. Lose Weight 2. Eat!
←Rate | 07-20-2012 07:32 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''See that guy over there carrying my golf bag? That's the one job i've created!!!''----President Obama
←Rate | 07-19-2012 20:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know we are in a seious debate on your status! And I totally disagree with everything you've said. But I can't commnt yet, because I have no idea what I' talking/arguing about, and i'm waiting for Google to load!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 19:19 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think about how stupid the average person is,and then realize that half of them are stupider than that!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 11:07 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?'' ......''No sweetheart she comes with G.I.Joe, she just fakes it with Ken!!!''
←Rate | 07-19-2012 09:52 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are just like cartons of Orange Juice! It's not the size or shape that matters. Or even how sweet the juice is. It's getting those Fking flaps open!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 08:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the first time ever Women's IQ test scores are higher than Men's!......But to keep it fair they didn't include the ''Blondes'' scores!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 08:08 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Music is my Escape from all the Bullsh!t in Life!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 07:46 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your a$$ had a ''Like'' button, I'd hit it!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 07:41 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon This has been the Hottet July in U.S. history! And not just because of ''Magic Mike'' and ''50 Shades of Grey'' temperatures have benn up also!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 07:28 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the first time in History, the average Canadian is now wealthier than the average American! Don't be discouraged though, this just gives us the option to borrow money from someone else now!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 06:37 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If sex beteen three people is called a threesome, and between two people a twosome, I now understand why people call you handsome!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 22:22 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  




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