Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If I am not supposed to eat Tide pods then why are they citrus flavored?
←Rate | 01-15-2018 09:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Wal-Mart should start a new Express Checkout lane for shoppers with more than 12 teeth
←Rate | 01-15-2018 08:55 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I will never have abs. Because I love eating keb abs
←Rate | 01-15-2018 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say, if life throws you lemons, throw them back, make lemonade or squirt them in your eyes so that the problems become last of your worries. But them smart asses never said what to do if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah!, there's no recovery from
←Rate | 01-15-2018 08:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto Winnie the Pooh would probably say, “Tigger please.”
←Rate | 01-14-2018 22:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was driving down the road this morning and swerved to avoid a banana peel. See mom me playing Mario Kart in my room all day when I was younger paid off.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 20:55 by Crewz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I changed my passwords to incorrect, so when I forget it tells me. Your password is incorrect. . .
←Rate | 01-14-2018 18:29 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, all I am saying is that you never see The Predator and Whoopi Goldberg in the same room at the same time.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 17:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My last exam was a bigger failure than FOX's show, Son of Zorn.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldnt want to live in the s**thole even if it was called Hati
←Rate | 01-14-2018 16:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only tru mp called them sh1t$shows, then no one would be mad.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 16:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any single women looking to sexually abuse a grown man, asking for a friend. . .
←Rate | 01-14-2018 12:31 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don’t suggest a product to me that’s not available at Walmart.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 06:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m sorry my dog nipped your ankles, but in all fairness you do have squirrels on your socks.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 06:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: How do you play the ISIS bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
←Rate | 01-13-2018 22:47 by XXX-FUXY Comments (2)  


   messageicon I took my wife to the dog show and she won.
←Rate | 01-13-2018 19:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe someone should tell Bowflex we don't want our living room smelling like a gym.
←Rate | 01-13-2018 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "One day, I hope to travel to Botswana to gonto school and become a success sonmy children will have it easier than I did" siad no one, ever.
←Rate | 01-13-2018 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women drivers be like Did I just run over someone?
←Rate | 01-13-2018 14:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look son, you march right back in there and take that Batman costume off. I'm the Batman of the family and YOU KNOW IT!
←Rate | 01-13-2018 13:17 Comments (0)  



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