Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 7 of 6367

   messageicon The world would be a much better place if everyone grew vegetables instead of electing them.
←Rate | 01-09-2024 10:11 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't hardly wait for tRumps sentencing day... 😆
←Rate | 01-08-2024 23:29 by Donald Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I don't feel like going to work... But then I remember I was born cute, not rich.
←Rate | 01-08-2024 05:54 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pagw 250
←Rate | 01-07-2024 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you buy all your horse tack from Amazon is it considered a Mail-Order Bridle?
←Rate | 01-07-2024 15:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon January
←Rate | 01-06-2024 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...
←Rate | 01-06-2024 14:44 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids these days will never know the pain not being able to see a movie because they are all rented out.
←Rate | 01-05-2024 20:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a resturant yesterday and I ordered the soup of the day. When they brought it I said, "This is chicken noodle soup. On the sign it says that the soup of the day is clam chowder." The waiter told me that because it's a leap year, all the soups ar
←Rate | 01-05-2024 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOT 1 MAN ANYWHERE IN HISTORY HAS EVER LOOKED AT A WOMAN AND SAID , YEA SHE'S PRETTY BUT IF ONLY SHE DREW HER EYEBROWS ON SHE'D BE SMOKIN HOT .
←Rate | 01-04-2024 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get bored, I like to call in sick to places that I don't work. Today, I am getting written up at Kohl's.
←Rate | 01-04-2024 12:00 by Sam Comments (0)  


   messageicon Already messed up 2024. Maybe 2025 will be my year.
←Rate | 01-03-2024 13:52 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.
←Rate | 01-02-2024 12:31 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag but cashier's always check me out.
←Rate | 01-01-2024 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 13:25 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any website can be a dating website... if you're from India.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 12:53 by BindairDundat Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not sure what to wear to the living room for New Year’s Eve. I might not even go.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 12:44 by Rickstar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!
←Rate | 12-30-2023 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You women may be surprised to learn, that making us sleep on the couch isn't that bad. It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping... with a really angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 12-29-2023 06:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of your New Year resolution centering around smoking and dieting, how about working on not being an asshole?
←Rate | 12-28-2023 06:45 by FezzeeLarry Comments (0)  




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