Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

   We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes... ;) :D :P

   Sometimes the dreams that come true are dreams you never even knew you had.

   When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, everyone remembers. Funny how that works.

   A man buys his wife a car and she says "Can't you get me something that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds?" He brought her the bathroom scale.

   I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources.

   MySpace is the VHS of the internet.

   My friend pointed out the other day, that the book/film "New Moon" is bassically just one girls choice between Beastiality, or Necrophilia... hope that gives you ladies out there a little perspective on "romance."

   I choose to be different because being normal is boring.

   Just when the mind found the answers, the heart changed the question...

   I am known for my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around.

   I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! Nope, it's just not working...

   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

   I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes

   A man went to see a psychiatrist, wearing only Gladwrap shorts. The shrink said, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

   I wonder if children who stutter are the result of pregnant women using vibrators.

   Since practice makes perfect, I must thank my parents for not givin' up on the first try. :)

   I'm not feeling myself today... anyone else wanna try?

   Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”

   LOGOUT: The hardest button to click on Facebook.

   Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!