flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You can't judge a book by its cover. I read that on a book cover. It's like a life lesson if you really think about it.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon They tried to send Amy Winehouse to the coroner but she said no, no, no. Just kidding, she's dead and didn't say anything.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 06:06 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you start working on your own manifesto, its time to go talk to the professionals in the mental health industry.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 13:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Ouija board keeps saying "Boo! LOL J/K!" Stupid teenage ghosts.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 19:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't keep up with such things, but is there a male Eastern European porn star named Vlad the Impaler yet?
←Rate | 07-26-2011 19:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you're fired"
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all those that like to take pics in their bathroom mirrors, clean up the bathroom first!
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sincerest form of flattery is a steamroller
←Rate | 07-28-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel a disturbance in the Force. Something tells me that Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins is about to do something stupid.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you say Red Bull just isn't enough kick for you anymore. How about I set you on fire? That will get you up and moving. For a bit anyway.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So did all those kids that had the skate or die t shirts in the 90s die?
←Rate | 07-28-2011 19:23 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children grow up so fast. One day they're taking their 1st steps, the next they're taken away after a judge rules you're a negligent parent.
←Rate | 07-30-2011 03:09 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life's motto: "Live every week as if its shark week"
←Rate | 07-31-2011 05:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today MTV turns 30, and yes I'm old enough to remember when they played music videos
←Rate | 08-01-2011 06:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why would I trust the Gordon's fisherman? Bad things happen when you "trust" a man in a rain slicker. All he needs is a windowless van
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If drinking destroys your memory…what does drinking do?
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:35 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your body might be trying to tell you something, shut it up with cheese
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish running scenarios through my mind burned calories.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to Stop Cyber Bullying: 1. Close your laptop 2. You Win!!
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when its dark and my brain is like "Hey you know what we haven't thought of in a while?" Monsters.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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