doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Rough day. Truck broke down, went to find help, ended up in a human centipede.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 17:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've learned that fights can always be avoided with a slow kiss of the forehead.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 18:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if you added them up Cher has had more surgeries than Chaz.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 16:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
←Rate | 09-02-2011 16:44 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My version of the hokey pokey doesn't include a lot of hokey.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 16:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm laying on my Girlfriends yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I'm in "downward facing chalk outline" pose.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 18:51 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when an attractive woman starts talking to me I forget how to speak and just start doing lunges.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 10:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I concentrate real hard, it starts to smell like incense.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gotta think Peyton Manning's neck injury has something to do with that giant forehead of his.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 16:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey Ladies...I just noticed that I stick my tongue out in concentration when I wipe my butt. It's pretty adorable... still single
←Rate | 09-05-2011 17:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin said, "Polls are for strippers." Cute. Guess what Grandma? Birth control pills are for teenagers.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 01:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You simply have not lived until your dad's sperm fertilizes your mother's egg.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 01:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's just amazing how much has changed since we got bin Laden.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 02:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin sons will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys in her at the same time?
←Rate | 09-09-2011 15:35 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I assume "Luftballons" is German for "bottles of beer on the wall"
←Rate | 09-12-2011 19:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't HAVE to be in love to have sex, but you do have to quit squirming away,
←Rate | 09-13-2011 20:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stephen Hawking has a motor neurone disease that is related to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, Thats not very smart, I wouldnt have done that!
←Rate | 09-14-2011 12:00 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wendy's idea of a medium could save an African village.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 12:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon COUGH! COUGH! Autoerotic asphyxiation is really hard to say five times fast with a belt around your neck.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 19:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty awesome at tripping over stuff that isn't even there.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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