StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of attention required. Science.
←Rate | 06-11-2015 17:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son asked what marriage is like so I answered, "It's fine" and then gave him the silent treatment for three days.
←Rate | 11-17-2014 23:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon After socializing and being nice to people all day it's nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an asshole on the Internet.
←Rate | 09-26-2014 21:14 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say "do I smell popcorn" right after I fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 19:14 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim, Kourtney and Khloe. The only KKK that will let bIack guys inside them.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 21:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ONLY thing I miss about being a teenager is being able to legally punch other teenagers.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 19:48 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 10 year old girls are crying because they broke up with their boyfriend. When I was 10 I cried because I missed the morning cartoons.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 18:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 16:03 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't help being lazy. It walks in the family.
←Rate | 03-31-2013 19:46 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 13:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 17:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a 'Wow that's the dumbest f*cking thing I've ever heard, you should be punched in the throat' button.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 12:56 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.
←Rate | 07-08-2014 13:20 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon That "speaking to another human being" feature on my phone has got to be my least favorite feature.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 10:11 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the f*ck they're doing.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 01:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between "I do" and "Do me" is the happily ever after part.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mix LSD with Advil your headache rides away on a dragon.
←Rate | 08-02-2013 21:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learned all my dance moves from the paternity test episodes of Maury.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 18:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  



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