Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 17:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being a kid. My only responsibilities were running around and laughing a lot. And someone else was in charge of my hair.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 08:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think we didn't notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 14:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (4)  


   messageicon I don't need to make better choices, I need better things to choose FROM.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've finally collected enough rats asses to give to everyone on my list.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 18:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people! Respect it!
←Rate | 03-23-2011 16:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2011 Pick Up Lines: "I have a full tank of gas."
←Rate | 05-14-2011 13:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had my cell phone ring changed to a loud sneeze. That way, not only do I not offend those around me, they actually bless me whenever anyone calls.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 22:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 23:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why isn't there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
←Rate | 05-20-2012 17:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
←Rate | 06-28-2012 22:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
←Rate | 07-06-2012 19:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
←Rate | 04-20-2010 19:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever see an ugly woman with 3 or more kids, and wonder to yourself, "Who KEEPS f*cking you?!"
←Rate | 09-29-2011 08:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was alone in the house last night, lying in bed, and all of a sudden I heard someone fart. I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared as hell.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do I have to bother pushing "one" for English? I'm still going to get someone who can't speak it.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 21:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're not living life right if you don't get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
←Rate | 08-22-2011 09:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 15:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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