Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don't have long to live.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's either you wear crocs or you have a sex life. Can't have both.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 13:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm clingy, but not " Simon Cowell's t-shirt" clingy.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 14:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 12:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 00:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I call the other side of my bed the Passenger side. It only makes sense.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 12:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more selfies she has, the more times you'll have to tell her she's pretty everyday.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to believe in a book to be a nice person and treat people right.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 10:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 04:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think there would be at least one extraterrestrial in a Miss Universe contest.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait, don't go. I can ruin it some more.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 02:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Every date is the first date if you get black out drunk every time.
←Rate | 01-23-2014 14:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
←Rate | 02-25-2018 10:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I'm not worrying about cancer.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 05:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it go away.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
←Rate | 05-25-2013 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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