Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon ME: "I wasn't that drunk!" MY FRIEND: “Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was single.”
←Rate | 06-19-2011 02:44 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Three Apples changed the world. The first one tempted Eve, the second inspired Newton and the third was offered to the world half eaten by Steve Jobs. RIP
←Rate | 10-06-2011 02:29 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let everyone know what is on your mind, but let only a few know what is in your heart.
←Rate | 08-16-2011 12:51 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best part about working from home is the alcohol.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 08:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes people don't notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. The they are like, “Why don't you stalk me anymore”
←Rate | 07-07-2011 02:19 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 11:52 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 10:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon My life is a constant panic attack occasionally interrupted by a nap
←Rate | 01-05-2013 05:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only part I believed in the movie Titanic was when she wouldn't move her fat ass over and let Jack on the raft with her.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 10:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you really want something, you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 08:07 by KIsstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon A relationship that’s needs to be validated and reinforced by being constantly paraded on Facebook for the whole world to see is a desperate relationship that will not last.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 12:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon TWILIGHT: Taking the 'N' out of "Vampire Fangs", since 2007!
←Rate | 03-02-2012 14:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saw a baby with a t-shirt that said, "I'm what happened in Vegas!”
←Rate | 08-05-2011 03:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finally...a woman who can make me smile without taking her clothes off.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 11:21 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never underestimate a woman's ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Almost all serial killers are men. That's because women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 12:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's 2012. How come some restaurants haven't figured out how to split checks? Nobody wants to take a math test after they eat.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 14:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone please tell Facebook that all relationships are complicated.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon When will companies understand their packaging is being opened by human beings not robots?
←Rate | 10-27-2012 14:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

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